Many of you who know me personally know I can be a little controlling. It’s a serious character flaw, but I’m genuinely working on it. My current life space has been a true test to this. I feel like whenever I see people out and about they always ask me- “so how’s the wedding planning going?” I’ve literally answered that question a million times, which I’m happy to. Most of the time I respond kindly, “it’s going REALLY well.” When I really want to say, “If you sell your first born child and give me the money, It would be going a lot better.” I’m honestly having a ton of fun in the process designing our invitations and picking out things for my bridesmaids. I just really dislike having to make decision based on things I can see or understand yet.
When it came to locking in a honeymoon destination, I really felt at a loss. How can I trust online reviews? Will the weather be nice? I must have spent 7 straight days living on Trip Advisor. I could probably teach a class on how to navigate the website and tricks of the trade. In all honesty though, it was stressing me out. Honeymoon planning should be many things, but it shouldn’t be stressful. I also realized I was putting a lot of stress on Zack. I don’t get to travel a lot, except to California and Florida to visit family. When it came down to it, I realized I was setting all these unrealistic expectations in my mind of the perfect honeymoon. When I say unrealistic, I mean it. I was looking at resorts that cost over $2,000 a night. Like who am I? Beyonce? No.
^ In case you were wondering- that’s me and Zack- matching white outfits and all.
Just kidding. But how often do we let these unrealistic expectations pop into our head? Whether it’s having the most epic honeymoon, organized home, perfect finances, perfect body (yeah I said it), it creates a tension within us that has our minds focused on how we can make ourselves happy, and not on how GOD could make us happy. But don’t take that and run with it. God wants to make us happy, but it’s a different kind of happy- that when squeezed down and added to water- looks like BLESSED. Are you craving lemonade now? Me too.
I know deep down that wherever Zack and I go for a honeymoon, it will be absolutely amazing. I also know that my issues with control aren’t going anywhere right this second. As we are learning about compromise in pre-marital counseling, we decided to try something out.
The Honeymoon Compromise
To make the next 5 months less stressful on my poor controlling brain, we have decided to come to a compromise. Zack will be picking out our honeymoon destination, booking it, and won’t be telling me where we are going
until the morning we leave.
He had 3 constraints to work with:
Has to be on a beach
This beach must have beautiful blue water
It has to feel like a resort- not a hotel.
Many may think I’m crazy for not being part of the honeymoons process. But, I have a feeling this whole process of getting married is a lot more about trust and less more about ME. Through these decisions and planning, I have had to give up the control and put it in the hands of God… so He can then put it in the hands of Zack. Wink wink.
As of yesterday, we officially have our honeymoon spot. Eek! So exciting. I’m dreaming of a beautiful beach, I just don’t know where it is. Every little part of this wedding is planned, so I can’t wait for an amazing surprise to come along with it.
Here’s to the unknown. Here’s to giving up full control. Here’s to allowing myself to feel
P.S. – I would love to hear your amazing/funny/crazy honeymoon stories!